I’ve wanted to write something for a few days now but I also didn’t want to sound too wanky as I’m fully aware that there are people who’s lives have been torn apart these past few weeks.
I want to talk about the Insignificant Things. The things I (we) take for granted. The things I appear to be mourning for, now that the world is on pause.
Nancy is just shy of being ten weeks old. Six of those weeks I spent cooped up in the house, unable to drive and unable to walk comfortably. I had high hopes for my maternity leave! Two full days with Nancy. Just the two of us. To bond. To sleep. I planned to fill these days with flat white dates, making new friends for Nancy and I and ‘saying hello to the sun’ at Baby Sensory. But alas, I’m still inside, having stepped out of the house realistically no more than 30 times since mid January. I need to get out. I feel like a caged animal. I can feel my mental health starting to crack.
Can I mourn my maternity leave? Is that a thing? It’s an insignificant thing in the grand scheme of things (global pandemic) but it’s still a thing and who knows when everything will return back to ‘normal’.I just know I’ll be back at work in the blink of an eye.
Will such little social interaction and activities affect her development? Seeing the same 4 walls and the same 3 faces day in day out surely can’t be stimulating! Baby groups are closed. Baby clinics are closed. These where a godsend with Sebastian as maternity leave can be extremely lonely. Even though Alex is working from home I can feel the loneliness creeping back in…
My heart aches knowing that family members are missing out on these early days. Thank God for Whatsapp but it’s just not the same.
I miss my friends and family. Weekend brunch. Our bi-monthly family trip into the city. The Uber driver with a McMuffin. A flat white. A good flat white. A solo trip to Homesense. Those ‘we’ll have Sebastian overnight’ whatsapp’s. The little insignificant things that I take for granted.
But in these times of uncertainty and not actually knowing when ‘normality‘ will resume, I’m actually becoming fond of my new ‘normal’. Slow mornings. Slow days. Doorstep coffees. Spending extra time with Sebastian before he heads off for school. Reading the sunbleached books on my shelf. Witnessing a sibling bond grow stronger ever day.
So here’s to the key workers. Stay at home for them. Don’t fret the new normal.
Embrace the doorstep coffees.
Storms don’t last forever.
Beautifully written Helen. “Embrace” is the way forward for us all. We will (hopefully) be better human beings when normality returns.
These are such beautiful words. You can totally mourn your maternity leave, its a time you have looked forward to and anticipated and planned and it totally changing is a big shift. I love what you say about the new normal though, we are slowly settling into it and I’m finding enjoyment in the little things every day. (Bloody miss a good coffee though, need to invest in better coffee maker!)
https://becquijean.com/
Thanks so much for taking the time to read this! Means a lot! I need to up my latte art game! A jar of shite Asda coffee isn’t cutting the mustard! Xx
Oh Helen.. that’s so nice (don’t usually have time to read, obviously it’s a bit different now). Hope that’s all back to normal soon!! I guess we will enjoy every single moment then..xx
It’s like you wrote exactly what’s in my head in this last week of lock down! My son Zac is 11 weeks old & after a long recovery from a section I’m struggling being caged in!!
Thank you for sharing xx
Ps gagging for a decent coffee ☕
Yes you can mourn it! Not insignificant at all! Gorgeous post, lovely xx
I think trying to embrace is important, it’s not ‘normal’ but it will soon feel that way. I think I’ve spoken to my neighbour over the fence more over the last few weeks more than I have since moving here in January. Danielle x