Once upon a long time ago there was a fourteen year old girl who dreamt of running away to Manhattan to pursue a career in fashion, live in a brownstone on the Upper East Side and spend all day drinking Cosmos with her girlfriends.

*Spoiler Alert* –  I’m not even close. Obviously this daydream had materialised from watching a show that depicted my exact fantasy storyline… Sex and the City.

I wanted Carrie Bradshaw’s super-extravagant, Manolo Blahnik-wearing, Vogue-writing life. Yes I am fully aware that Carrie is a fictional character but it didn’t stop me from wanting her life and THAT wardrobe. After all it was the nineties and I was an impressionable fourteen year old girl, who, when she reached adulthood wanted to BE this fictional character. She had it all in my eyes…

Re-watching the show in my thirties has made me come to realise how completely unrealistic the show was.

This was not Adulthood. What a load of shite.

With this in mind I couldn’t help but wonder… is SATC to blame for my unrealistic expectations about Adulthood?

And in no particular order here are my ramblings, grievances and general comments:

• You CAN’T buy a Cosmopolitan at a drive-thru. You can’t. It’s a lie.

• If you’re able to work 40 hours a week and still make it out to the bar every night or brunch to chat about men with your 3 closest girlfriends, let me know. Who has THAT much spare time? 

• If you write a weekly column in a newspaper sharing your friends intimate sexual conquests you can afford to spend $40,000 on shoes!  Where do I get THAT job… Forget $500 Blahnik’s the most expensive shoes I own are 10 year old UGGS
• …and if you do spend that much money on shoes (tut tut CB) and you are about to become homeless (because you are reckless with your money and have no savings) your divorced mate can help you out!

• While we’re on the topic of her shoes –  I am an olympic athlete in my Louboutin heels – out for dinner, heels, hailing a cab, heels, taking a dog for a walk, expensive heels, RUNNING, heels. Who even does that!? I’ve tried running in heels and it either resulted in a tumble or crippling pain. And jokes I don’t own a pair of Louboutin’s.

• As an Adult in 90’s NYC you don’t need to cook in your swanky Upper East Side apartment. Why? Because from your column writing you can afford to eat out for three meals a day and drink a ton of alcohol… I am definitely in the wrong profession because I went to Zizzi last night and that’s my food budget exceeded for the month
• Who else has strutted around Piccadilly Gardens in a tulle tutu skirt? Nope me neither!

• If I drank the same amount of cosmos as Carrie and Co, I wouldn’t be able to function on a day to day basis never mind go to work at my imaginary law / PR firm / art gallery…
• Do you sleep in your bra? Nope me neither!

• Who’s ever bought Heat magazine instead of a Big Mac… Nope me neither!

Even though it may appear that I am slating SATC –  I still love love love it and will continue to watch re runs on Now TV till my hearts content.

Outside Carrie’s Apartment – May 2010

PS I still feel bad for Aiden and Petrofski is a knob.

Thank you Jamie-Lee, Katie, Kerry, Charley, Susan, Jess and Trab for your contributions. xx